I do not like your writing so
Stop sending emails please just go!
Yes I read your piece on cats
To be honest it fell flat.
I also read your piece on kids
Not a good fit- hey try “Club Mid”
You’re drab, you’re dull, you’re not quite funny
I hope your day job makes you money.
I don’t quite know how else to say,
You’re not for us please go away.
I do not like your writing style
You missed the mark hon…..by a mile.
I do not like it with my tea,
Please stop Facebook stalking me.
I’ll say it plainly as I can.
You’re not a part of this here clan.
Do not send your Twitter handle
Your pieces Dear, don’t hold a candle
To the things we like to publish.
Quite frankly girl, Your sh*t’s all rubbish.
It’s not the kind of thing we print
Please give up writing next year for Lent.
We can’t be friends on Instagram
I JUST DON’T LIKE YOU SAM I AM!!!!